Pam Yang

I am a licensed marriage and family therapist based in Wisconsin. In short, I would describe my work as sitting with individuals, couples, and families to talk through and work through issues to promote healing, so they can become the best version of themselves.

What are you currently working on or most proud of right now?

I am most proud of my podcast, called His Purpose Prevails, where I can speak on topics related to being Hmong, a woman, a therapist, and faith. My goal is to encourage, uplift, and share information and knowledge that can help others.

How did you begin this work, business, or path? What motivated you to start?

My brother died in 2015 and it caused me to evaluate my life and what I would leave behind as a legacy. I left my banking job and went back to school for psychology so I could understand what was happening within me. I started working for a local shelter that supports victims and survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault. I finished my bachelors and decided I wanted to be a marriage and family therapist. I wanted to work on prevention versus postvention—to give tools and skills to individuals and families before relationships became destructive or abusive.

What challenges have you faced along the way, and how have you navigated them?

Many of my challenges included balancing my roles as a wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, employee, student, and more. I had to sit down with my family and talk out how my role would be changing and how I would be spending my time. I had to enlist my loved ones for support and delegate tasks. I've had to make many sacrifices along the way and what has helped me to not give up is to remember my why. Journaling, prayer, therapy, asking for help, and surrounding myself with supportive people has been a great help.

What has surprised you most about your journey so far?

I was surprised to go into private practice because my goal has always been to serve the underserved and underprivileged communities. I thought private practice was therapist serving those who could only pay cash, and I wanted to work with those on state assistance. However, I found I was extremely unhappy with the lack of cultural care, congruency, and accessibility in other behavioral health agencies which propelled me to work for myself. I make it a point to accept those on state assistance and to work with those who are often overlooked or fall through the cracks.

How does your work serve or impact your community, clients, or the people around you?

I always say that the percentage of people accessing mental health services should be congruent with the percentage of people in that community. For example: If Hmong people make up 15% of the population in a city, mental health therapists should have 15% of Hmong people on their caseload. I am proud to share that 35% of my caseload consists of Hmong clients. Even if I am not working directly with Hmong folks, I do my best to share information to destigmatize mental health, in public or private settings. I am always excited to accept speaking engagement invitations so more people can be informed about mental health and the benefits of self-care.

"I would love to be remembered as someone who used their pain, suffering, and adversity to help others."

In what ways does your Hmong identity influence your work, leadership, or perspective?

My Hmong identity influences my work as I seek to serve others and to do no harm. Hmong people are very resilient, forgiving, and hospitable. I carry these traits everywhere I go. I also know the trauma that our Hmong folks have inherited while fleeing persecution and genocide, and I have had my own struggles with mental health issues. I use this knowledge and experience to show empathy and compassion to others. I do my best to listen to understand without being critical or shaming. I am a life-long learner and love to listen to the stories of others. I often learn from my clients and have had many parallel healing processes.

What does leadership mean to you, based on your lived experience?

Leadership is to serve, to first do what we ask others to do, and to be coachable and teachable. Leadership is stewardship and humility. Allowing people to speak truth and confront areas where we are not being our best selves. Leadership is accepting correction and being accountable.

What lessons have you learned that you wish you had known earlier?

I wish I was taught the importance of boundaries and saying no. I wish I knew that I was not responsible for other people's actions or emotions. I wish I knew more about loving myself and self-care. I wish I knew that my value and worth does not come from others or their opinions.

What has helped you stay grounded, motivated, or resilient during difficult moments?

Similar to what I wrote before, prayer, reading the Bible, using coping skills, speaking kindly to myself, journaling, therapy, rest, and surrounding myself with the right people has been extremely vital. I would also say not being afraid to ask for help. Often times, I am the one giving advice or support, and it's okay to be the one who needs support.

What are you currently working toward or hoping to build next?

I want to continue speaking engagements to motivate, uplift, and encourage others. I think knowledge is key because many people don't know what they don't know. I also foresee authoring some books in my future.

How would you like people to understand or remember your work?

I would love to be remembered as someone who used their pain, suffering, and adversity to help others. If someone uses the information I share to prevent or overcome their hardship, that would be amazing. I strongly value knowledge and want to put vital information into other people's hands. I believe by doing this, along with our own healing, the future generations will not repeat or relive our traumas, and their starting point can be what was our ceiling.

What advice or encouragement would you offer other Hmong women navigating their own paths?

I would tell them that they are their best investment. That loving themselves and seeing their value and worth is not selfish. I would encourage them to learn about themselves and do their own healing. I would also tell them to listen to their gut and practice saying no and having appropriate boundaries.

Is there anything else you would like to share?

I would like to tell people that God has used my pain for purpose and that I believe everyone has a purpose. If they are still breathing, God is not done with them yet. They will not always feel the way they feel now, or be in the same situation they are in now. Take it one day at a time and keep pressing forward. It may not make sense now, but it will all come together. Don't give up and have faith.